Post-Traumatic Culture

I feel:

Huhh..,
In addition to always questioning,
Or..,
(For example),
I must research the research,
Because (in my belief) any research comes from a type of consciousness,
With,
A type of intentions,
That has been shaped over time,
Which may shape how the research is presented(?),
And I must try to find which interests the research supports(?)
..,
Such as..,
Do the research conclusions support a quick instant gratification “solution” to problems?
Or would the results of the research promote a need for a deeper,
More widespread inner awakening journey(?),
That is required to heal any type of human individual and/or interdependent struggles(?),

And as for trauma,
Maybe common unconscious reactions,
To common (or similar) traumatic experiences?
(Whether common big traumas or many small ones.., Or however and whatever types of traumas that build over time..),
Causes a common (or dominant) type of psychological functioning (or dysfunctioning)?
That underlies a common (or dominant) type of culture (or cultures)?

And well..,
As for (for example) human functioning..,
Well..,
I just believe,
That trauma,
Whether that’s been passed down from history,
From how most (and/or many) species evolved in response to their environment..,
Huhh..,
I believe that,
Even as for those who may be deeply analytically aware of how they’ve been traumatized(?),
I feel that..,
Trauma,
Still,
Shapes dominant societal/cultural functioning,

Hence,
I just decided to title this,
“Post-Traumatic Culture”,

Similar to my “Traumatized Hierarchy” post,
Or I guess(?) I could also title it..,
“Unconscious hierarchy”,
Because (based on my beliefs (resulting from my perceptions as they were shaped over time)),
Many seek to look for a sense of security externally,
With different present abilities,
Capabilities,
And levels of power..,
In the traumatized hierarchy,
..
And of course,
(As I believe..),
It is a conveniently unquestioned culture,
That disregards discovering and/or accessing any experience that is more fulfilling and deeper,
..,
And even those who may be deeply aware of their unhealed inner trauma,
Well..,
I believe that even many of them just still choose to go along with this..,
And to speak for why I’ve felt to go along with it..,
Is because as for deepening my consciousness in a healthy way..,
Well..,
I’ve felt quite alone in my efforts with that..,
So..,
Consciousness expansion that could help me such as with having the needed awareness to make more and more helpful decisions..,
Well..,
I’ve just felt alone in my efforts at it,
Which has made discouragement far more dangerous and powerful,
Since it’s been hard for me to feel sufficiently connected to those who ALSO seek to inwardly consciously better themselves in order to have a clear (and/or better) ability for anything they chose to do externally..,
And of course,
Have more and/or deeper,
Natural,
Conscious peace,
Internally,

In my belief(s),
..
Since our innate individual unique levels of unaware sensitivity did not always (or did not often) prepare us for geographical,
environmental,
and/or any form(s) of inevitable survival adversity,
..,
Because we may have NOT responded to forms of adversity,
In ways that could have developed us to access and discover the most or a sufficient and significant level of capability for whatever we pursue and however we help ourselves to also help society..,

Essentially..,
Because as for many,
I’d guess(?),
Adversity tended to traumatize instead of awaken..,
Well..,
I would guess(?),
A lot of cultural beliefs and/or functioning,
Underlies a post-traumatic dominant awareness,
And/or dominant traumatized unconsciousness,
(That people experience most of the time(?))..,

And no,
Even though what I’m sharing in writing here is NOT a research paper (except for maybe one brief citation..(?)),
Still..,
A lot of people I’ve had the chance to interact with,
Have shared with me (confidential) traumatic stuff that happened to them in their lives,
And how they chose and still choose to deal with it..,
And well,
I just view myself as one of those people..,
..,
And I would say many of my posts make that clear,

Such as how I’ve extensively posted about bullying experiences that have exacerbated my innate inner emotional hyper-reactivity,
Therefore leading me to experience immense social apprehension and/or anxiety..,
And therefore in order to “chill” and/or become on the same wavelength..,
I’ll be more susceptible,
To life-shortening “quick-fix” medication such as alcohol..,
(If not ever becoming excessively forced some psychiatric prescription(?) and therefore becoming another victim of a very powerful drug industry that insatiably seeks power and makes money in ways that include heavy prescriptions and bribing scientists to fabricate research to support those levels of prescriptions and therefore blaming side-effects on other (non-prescription related) “causes” and of course a cause of the industry’s insatiable egoic power hungry mentality may just be dominant cultural TRAUMA and unmet inner healing needs that have perpetuated culturally (or unconsciously permeated a culture(?)) including most of those and their traumatized unconsciousness that perpetuates the institutional functioning..(?)),
And NO I do NOT intend to get political,
It just,
To me..,
Seems to be a very likely possibility..(?),
And to NOT get political I will try NOT to say where and when this may be occurring..(?),
Yet,
Well..,
Just thought I’d create a hypothetical..,
?

And to be real,
I’d say it’s obvious that the world is immensely dysfunctional,
I’d say it’s obvious that more inner conscious development work,
May help just about anyone (if not everyone) make the world more ethically function..(?),

And I feel it’s like a (however simple) equation..,
Trauma PLUS UNmet inner awareness needs EQUALS Troubled individuals (or it more likely will equal that..(?)),

Hence..,
More traumatized individuals with more UNmet inner healing awareness needs will MORE likely make choices and/or decisions and/or actions based on their unhealed traumatized unconscious awareness..,
Hence,
In my belief,
Unhealed inner psychological trauma underlies a human’s behavior and/or decision making..,
(Source: Bessel Van Der Kolk, “The Body Keeps the Score” (2014), page 3, Penguin Books, New York, New York)
..,
(And no (once again) I do NOT intend for this to be a research/political paper and I say that so anyone who might want to (if ever) say “You back up practically NONE of your claims!” will NOT as likely successfully discredit what I said.., and of course this is mostly what I feel to be true.., including my belief that no matter how clear I am I can NOT get everyone to understand.. and (not to be a dickhead) maybe their trauma is preventing them from being open to it..(?) yet ANYWAY..),
And to relate it back to a society of individuals who are now traumatized,
And therefore perpetually insatiable and INSECURE..,
Well..,
There may be a culture of competition to try to make up for that inner insecurity by trying to become a “winner”,
Hence..,
The unconscious ego has been exacerbated by traumatic experiences..,
And as for most,
Traumatic experiences,
Such as getting bullied and/or verbally abused,
May have exacerbated egoic insecurity in someone,
INSTEAD of awakening them..,
So now because their insecurity has been exacerbated..,
They’ll now..,
Feel an insatiable need to make up for their sense of “inferiority”,
By getting “all the power in the world”,
And since (in my belief) the ego looks externally for “security”,
The ego NEVER heals it’s inner sources of insecurity..,
Such as feelings of inferiority due to trauma from abuse such as bullying and/or abuse from parents,
Etc..,
Etc..,
So even though this is NOT research based..,
Can we find real examples of this..?
Can we find someone whose messed up past has made them so INSECURE that they just can NOT stand losing at anything?
Someone who is always “in it to win it?”
Well..,
Are they an example of perpetuating this competition based culture that tries to “compensate” for insecurity due to trauma..(?),
Would they be an example of a culture that values competition to “win” and make up for insecurity that has been EXACERBATED by growing feelings of inferiority resulting from repeated traumatic abuse..?
Hence..,
The results of this trauma created a need to compensate for feeling inferior,
This mainstream need to compensate for insecurity (exacerbated by any form(s) of unhealed trauma) created a need to make up for that insecurity by creating a culture of COMPETITION..,
..,
Hence in this regard,
A culture of “survival of the fittest”,
And/or a culture that values brutal competition..,
May just be,
A,
“Post-traumatic”,
Culture..?

Yet..,
Capitalist or NOT,
I would say,
Any form of HIERARCHY,
Any cultural (and/or) political structure,
With most members (or any) who insatiably seek to have power over any others,
In order to compensate for insecurity through (even violent) power and authority..,
Developed that tremendous insecurity (that they are trying to compensate for),
As a result of their unhealed past traumatic experiences..,
So yes..,
I would THEREFORE guess..(?),
That a lot of abusive hierarchies,
Result from unhealed traumatic experience(s)..,
??

Okay..,
And yes,
This just may not be a “poem”..,
And is definitely NOT figurative..,
And well..,
Since I’m revising this..,
I’ll just keep going with this..,

So to me it additionally seems that:

Dominant cultural/ways of life mentalities emerged from the underlying traumatized personal development (of most of its members and/or certain ones in power(?)),
And since emphasizing proper ways of internally healing the post traumatic pain,
Or any type of pain,
Did NOT become the dominant culture,
Therefore..,
The post traumatic,
Or traumatized/emotionally damaged culture,
Kept perpetuating,
Kept damaging and limiting many people’s awareness and cognitive abilities (including) of REALIZING new profound ways of finding meaning,

And I obsessively explain,
Due to large fears of anyone excessively NOT understanding me,
Largely because (as it seems to me) critical thinking and awareness was NOT and is NOT culturally emphasized,
Since (as I believe) a lot of us have been damaged and/or limited and of course many of us remain unhealed and unawakened,
And since we reinforced our behaviors without needed inner awareness to sufficiently access what could have led us to sufficiently consistent profound experience..,
(Speaking for myself and what I assume to be the case of many in US society especially..(?)),

Instead of inwardly consciously healing the trauma and inner pain,
The dominant mentality became unconscious insatiable external gratification seeking,
Which manifests in various forms,
Including different gender roles,
Such as some succumbing to “gold digging”,
While others could NOT (in whatever other forms) stop excessively,
materialistically acquiring,
..,
Without most people,
Opening to new ways of finding far deeper,
clearer,
profoundly gratifying ways of experiencing,

Partly due to,
Fearing an identity crisis(?),
Or becoming sucked into a dangerously worse alternative than their current unconsciousness, traumatized and/or damaged world views,
That have always limited their capabilities of experience,
While the deeper means of experience,
Remained unaccessed and undiscovered,
Due to,
(As previously mentioned (I guess)),
Various fear of harmful change,
Due to being conveniently locked in to irrational insecurity,
Due to insufficiently healed inner awareness,
So new undiscovered inner awareness,
Tragically remained unaccessed,

And some may become so traumatized,
And unconsciously react or become damaged in ways,
That cause them to view,
Anyone with a different belief than their own,
As a “threat to their existence”(?),
And therefore their internal dominant unconscious irrationality,
May cause them to harm,
kill,
or somehow brutally oppress those of different groups and/or anyone of different opinions or beliefs systematically,
Including threatening to kill those who go against their beliefs,
ways of life,
Or whoever challenges their one and only “truth”,
..
So evidently,
Unprocessed,
unhealed trauma,
I believe,
May increase FEAR,
Catastrophically(?),

And on a more micro level..(?),
Well..,
Of course there’s those who have had traumatic experiences,
Negatively affect their development and of course,
Hurt their ability to make good choices and/or decisions,
So now they may be in whatever desperate circumstances,
And at least some of them,
May just be willing to harm me(?),
In order to get basic needs met,
Such as robbing me in order to have enough money to survive (thus making it harder for me to survive in exchange..),
Or they’ll do whatever to me,
All (or largely) because they did NOT get help healing their trauma and that unhealed trauma has therefore underlied all their bad decision making..,

And as a hypothetical..,
Maybe they did not know how to clear inner emotional pain from the trauma..,
So they became more susceptible to drug abuse,
Which overall caused their life to fall apart..,
And since they don’t have access to viable inner healing support,
Nor really any kind of support..,
They now look to screw over others (who did nothing to them) in order to get their needs met..(?),
..,
And of course..,
Harsh impoverished living conditions may have a harsh traumatic effect on anyone which may damage them psychologically as well..(?),
..,
And of course,
There are the lucky ones,
Who learn how to heal their trauma and therefore further psychologically equip themselves for survival,
?

Some may make it out,
While others,
Never make it..(?),

Hence I believe,
Trauma (from being a victim of abuse (for example)) that exacerbates the ego and/or its insecurity,
May INCREASE fear of what does NOT need to be feared..,
(Such as other people and groups),
..,
And (in my belief) since fear makes the ego feel inferior,
The ego may therefore HATE what it fears..(?),
..,
Hence,
Excessive fear of others,
May create,
Excessive hate of others,
(For example),
?

And well,
Essentially,
Unhealed trauma that causes inner pain to oneself,
And others,
May just,
Horrifically..,
Collectively manifest(?),
In the functioning of institutions,
Belief systems,
And/or whatever form(s) of hierarchy,
And/or of course,
Culture,
?

And well..,
If inner development needs go UNmet for long enough,
If NOT enough people learn how to prepare themselves and/or respond to inevitable very painful experiences in ways that do NOT overall deeply worsen their functioning?
Will humanity survive?
..,
If NOT enough humans consciously awaken,
Will extinction happen?

And well,
I feel,
Since there’s just a lot I just can NOT control,
As I try my best,
I feel I must,
Further,
Work on inner peacefulness,
That I believe,
Will help me feel LESS and LESS inwardly weighed down,
And MORE and MORE inwardly empowered,
To help in as many ways as I can,
That may just be required,
?

Hence,
Of course,
I hope peace,
Is further and further,
Acquired