Mixed Messages

Aside from my present belief(s) pertaining to essential moderation..,

If people who I admire dislike and shittalk each other,
If people joke ALL the time,
IF people ALWAYS communicate figuratively and NEVER literally,
My awareness may (for example) MORE LIKELY become so scattered,
Confused,
Uncertain,
Fearful and unable to comfortably trust others,

And when the anxiety causes me to lose sleep,
I’ll MORE LIKELY dream when I’m literally awake,
Then competing brand names may tell me what to take,
And (essentially) those competing over whatever I must do to relax may get mad at each other too,
?

I just CANNOT merely rely on the external to tell me what I really must do IN ORDER TO morally and ethically find a mutually beneficial path for myself and (or among) my inseparable sentient surroundings,

Speaking theoretically (in my belief)..,
If I constantly receive mixed messages,
Such as being in between two superiors secretly shittalking to me about each other,
In addition to NOT knowing which orders to follow,
I may MORE likely question my reality to the point of spiraling into deep (and possibly) irreparable insanity!?
Same likelihood may result from a leader teaching profound insight while embodying profound hypocrisy..,
?

If those who influence my perceptions of reality are TOO OFTEN confusing me,
It just may have a significant negative effect on my present level of sanity,

?

Sustaining awareness of what is presently affecting my internal foundational functional awareness has felt challenging for me yet hopefully gets continually more sustainable,

And whoever is leading is HOPEFULLY reducing the cycle of pointless excessive and damaging suffering,
I just wish these egoic separate entity forces of awareness become LESS dominating

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