In this Life

Hey man,
Even though this might be OD..(?),
Even though I’ve acted batshit crazy time and time again after an apology..,
Even though I guess there’s been extreme ups and downs among all experiences that I never ever did foresee after that night I met you at that social function with the karaoke,
Such as the trip to Miami,
Times my balls were busted heavily,
Getting to see that guy choke-slammed so hilariously by the guy who knew mad karate..,
The time I almost got beat up by a bouncer in Virginia beach,
When I manically snatched the two dollars out of that bartender’s hand who was then like “is he alright”,
Probably since I anxiously didn’t sleep for a couple nights..(?),

And well..,
Even if this may sound forced or insincere,
I still just wanted you to also clearly hear,
That..,
Even though I may have been very hard to be around,
I still appreciated you allowing me,
UNLIKE so damn many,
Too stick around..,

Thank you for allowing me into your chapter of that fraternity..,
Fuck those certain other fucks,
You’re alright,

And since I have been labeled as having “mild autism”,
“Including ADHD and generalized anxiety previously”,
And just never have been that loose NOR skilled socially..,
Even though when I was manic and out of control emotionally I sent a message saying that I should have “never gotten a bid”..,
Well..,
There’s also that part of me,
That,
Deeply wants to,
Thank you for welcoming me and accepting me to becoming a part of the Epsilon Omicron chapter of the Sigma Alpha Mu fraternity..,

And of course,
Even if I may have just turned out to be a damaging liability..,
If I may have expressed certain opinions quite aggressively..,
Well..,
I’d say there’s that part of me that still feels sincerely that,
You definitely have been a deeply helpful example of more positivity..,
Including that time you implicitly and/or straight-up reminded me..,
Of there being no need to mention sharks when we were having that low key heart to heart in the water at South Beach..,
Including that there was no need for me to eradicate the vibe by mentioning Flordia sinkholes when we were hanging at our friend’s dad’s place which they generously had to offer,
..,
And I certainly remember that picture you took of me gracefully jumping into the water..,
That time our other friend said there was a milf in the parallel car,
And the time in that same summer when I went up to those two women on the beach towel,
To try to pull off that zinger which was a total failure..,
And how you told me,
That..,
I miss “100 percent of the shots I don’t take”,
..,
Well even though I failed miserably..,
At least you helped me out of my anxious shell supportively,

And among all the other stuff that may come to me,
Well..,
Even though I may have appeared to be not having a good time,
A certain part of me,
Feels some of those times,
Just may have been the time of my life!

And even though you understandably may just have had enough of me,
Thank you for the experiences you had to offer me,

And aside from all I can add, change, deepen and/or however rearrange in this piece of writing..,
I’ll just add that..,
Well as I initially had wrote here:

I even remember you telling me when in Miami,
That the road trip we were on was the kind of trip that I’d remember for “the rest of my life”,
And well..,
Regardless if I ever see you again in this life,
I want to deeply thank you,
For experiences that I may joyfully,
Beautifully remember,
From time to time,
Throughout my life,

I want to wish you a happy 27th birthday,
Would love to meet again someday,

Fast and firm,

Cheers