Inner Peaceful Patriot

The patriot within me says:
“May we address whatever we truly feel NEEDS to be addressed,
in the SAFEST,
and/or most CIVILIZED way(s) possible”,

May we be aware of what we’re standing for,
May we NOT emotionally lose ourselves in horrific misunderstandings,

And well,
Since your former physical tiny dog life manifestation has been cut short,
This just has been a wake up call,
For me to get my shit together,
And try to NEVER AGAIN take bullshit from anyone,
May your free warrior spirit live on,

May I just..,
Not take bullshit to even the slightest degree,
May I truly live free,
May I peacefully hang in there through all the pain life continues to throw at me..,

And well,
I may have to follow my truth,
Even if it is more “risky”,
Even if I panic and run into a fatality similar to what happened to you so damn tragically unexpectedly,
Oh what a damn small possibility that came true so painfully..,
Like someone just reached in and pulled out my heart and squeezed it empty,
I just can’t piece together whatever figures of speech to describe the pain I’m feeling just “perfectly”,
And I can always say more,
Understand clearer,
And convey deeper..,

Ohh what a tragic chain of events!!

In order to live meaningfully,
I have to accept the risk factor evidently,
And well,
It just may be a bigger risk to allow powerful armed forces to control me!?
Gotta never stop trying to find peace with the hit and runs life shoots at me..,

I must STOP letting others’ step on me,
I must NEVER feel pressured to sign anything I do NOT understand,
I must learn how to say “NO!”
No matter how severely they want to judgmentally torture me!!
But ohh my actions WILL tell more about me..,
As they do INVARIABLY..,

That inner peaceful patriot,
Who wants to use its’ free space,
In order to try to feel and/or think clearer and therefore become more and more free of negativity,
In order to have the inner peaceful clearness to create whatever it is that may help other sentient beings alleviate inner pain as they pass through existence is ALSO within me,
And even if it fails miserably,
It still would rather to attempt to follow it’s truth than to settle for a life it will never prefer,
Because my inner peaceful patriot prefers to TRY to align itself with the life it often feels to see as fit INSTEAD of not trying at all,

And since you,
My pet dog,


I’m just imagining hearing your footsteps,
Clicking along the floor,
Seeing those scratch marks on the door,
It’s like you’re right here,
It’s like you hopped up to my bed,
The silence of you being completely gone,
Has made it so much harder for me to remain strong,

And when I open the door,
I hear nothing,
I see nothing,
And when I think and picture you,
Ohh the pain in my chest keeps growing!
I try to find your spirit but nothing comes,
Just fading memories,
Just a painful adjustment,
To the new unforeseen tragic present..,

When I started writing this I was sitting on that small couch in my room,
Holding my phone,
Quiet and alone,
And when I turned to look to see if you’re on the floor..,
You weren’t and are still NOT here..,
The fact that you’re not around,
And I see your vests there,
Imagine you sleeping on your bed,
Your unfinished food bowl..,

The point is clear,
I just want you here..,

I just want you to rise from the dead back into the same exact physical and spiritual being you were..,
And the fact that I do NOT believe that will happen just..,
It just hurts,

May your unconditionally happy loving spirit peacefully continue on,
Yeah.. I just want you back..,
And may my inner patriot,
Peacefully follow it’s truth,
Peacefully advocate for whatever it feels needs to be addressed..,

You’ve really helped,
And I fucking miss you,
And for you,
I’ll try to better,
More assertively,
Align myself with the deepest truth(s) I presently see within me,

I’ll always love you Kobe

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