When perpetually insecure egos want to feel power by busting my balls,
I’ll still give them a sincere response,
and I will keep standing in my truth,
in honor of my dog,
in honor of the truth I see within me,
Therefore,
May my dog’s warrior spirit help build me,
So even if someone tries to peer pressure me into signing my life away,
as for wherever I wind up,
may I still keep my head up,
for my dog I’ll never give up,
..,
may I more clearly and deeply access the spirit of the peaceful patriot,
for myself,
my dog and the advancement of all physical manifestations of (what I consider to be) our truly inseparable spirit..,
Although I also want to be kindly accepted as I most clearly see myself as,
Although I believe we have the right to transition into whatever we individually see as true,
Well,
There just may be various dangerous authorities,
That are out to manipulate and/or powerfully pressure me into transitioning into something NOT inwardly true to me,
In order for me to conform to how THEY see reality..,
In order for me to comfortably suit THEIR narrative of reality..,
In order for me to align with THEIR world views so THEIR externally powerful egos can find “comfort”..,
Yet..,
Even that sense of egoic “comfort” is just “never enough”,
Because the ego (I believe) just “seeks and never finds”..,
(Source: Eckhart Tolle, YouTube, “The Many Faces of Ego”, (Uploaded: January 19th, 2021), (Eckhart Tolle says the actual quote around 13 minutes and 43 seconds, however I prefer watching the whole video) Link: https://youtu.be/6StRwsSBubw),
Oh how life gets rough..,
(And well,
Maybe I’ve failed to keep following the beautiful truthful lessons you have to clearly keep offering for those such as me, Eckhart..,
Well..,
I can always use a conscious reminder, so.., thank you Eckhart, for your conscious healing service),
And thanks for reminding me,
If I understand properly..(?),
That experiencing the pain of tragic loss,
Can be an opportunity,
To (in my own words..) connect with my spiritual truth more deeply,
(Source: Eckhart Tolle, YouTube, “Beyond the Form: Allowing Loss, (Uploaded: March 11th, 2021), Link: https://youtu.be/Ojq1AAMvZvg),
And I guess to put it in my own present words..,
I guess I can say,
When my egoic awareness is at an unbearable loss, it then loses its power,
and therefore CAN (more easily..(?)) start becoming more egoless..(?),
REGARDLESS..,
What I have lost just may open me up to what there is to INSTEAD find..(?),
(Source: Eckhart Tolle, YouTube, “Awakening through Loss”, (Uploaded: September 15th, 2022), Link: https://youtu.be/FVZl9_crjrg),
Maybe others may want me to become a killer,
View violence as the “answer” while calling it “self-defense” against “evil”,
Ohh how human beings are so horrifically capable..,
And well,
Even if certain groups have “more of a ‘right’” to freely express bigotry due to their group’s horrifically painful oppressive history,
Well,
I feel that:
No one can “precisely” judge me based on my blonde hair,
Gender,
Blue eyes NOR white skin,
..,
Others just do NOT know how I’m different in my “autistic” ways,
Same goes for those also “autistic” BECAUSE I feel we’re all just DIFFERENT..,
..,
Others just do NOT know the truth I see within,
As I do NOT exactly know what THEY truthfully uniquely see..(?),
Hence,
May others NOT judge me by my appearance,
Such as by the whiteness of my skin,
And well,
Since my dog left too soon,
It’s time I stand within my truth,
It’s time,
To look deeper,
To be with him,
And to be with the truth I see,
That ZERO external authority can tell me,
Instead of being an obsessive introspective Nordic snowflake,
I must CONSCIOUSLY and/or deeply INTROSPECTIVELY rediscover and re-access the inner conscious VIKING!!
MAY I BLAST OUT OF MY SHELL FASTER THAN LIGHTNING!!
OH FUCK THE HATERS!!
FUCK THEM!!
I MUST JUST SAY “NO!!”
IT’S MY TURN!!
IT’S MY TURN!!
I believe in FREEDOM,
To increase powerful peaceful coexistence,
And even though for me I’d say it’s been a struggle,
I just may more likely find more peace,
If I at least try,
To abide by this,
I just too often remain shut down,
And it’s time I take a chance,
Before I totally miss my chance..,
Huhh..,
And yes..,
I still will always miss my dog,
Huhhh,
And well,
Even though inevitable changes of environment may change my relationships with the same people,
I will still,
Try to remember and follow the best I presently can,
The inner peaceful freedom loving truth I see,
That ZERO external insatiably powerful authority can take away from me,
May I never forget,
To notice my gentle breathing,
And peacefully notice,
The sensations that just keep flowing,
I just must,
Consciously try to return to..,
I guess..,
The spirit of a Viking,
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do other collective egos want to drown in pride through their tribe!?
Okay..,
I see how it is..,
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
I do NOT need THEM!!
I NEED my true roots!!
And if they do NOT want to realign with our deeper spiritually inclusive and welcoming inseparable roots..,
Well..,
I just can NOT change them..,
I can only stand strong,
And try to RE-ACCESS that buried Viking..,
Fuck what they think!
Because I think in HONOR of my lost dog,
I NEED to BREAK OUT of trying to have others like me who just want to bust my balls repeatedly..,
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
May the TRUE VIKING SHINE THROUGH ME!!
Even if I talk about it and in my worst moments others be like “Yo Zach I thought you talked about your ‘Viking Spirit’”,
..,
OH FUCK THEM!!
I do NOT NEED THEM AS THEY DO NOT NEED ME..,
Shit..,
May I REALIGN WITH THE TRUTH I SEE!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ohh how I may easily be opening myself up to being intelligently mocked..,
I’m sure others will find me blasting out of my confident shell deeply infuriating and/or hilarious,
Yet may I NOT become scared back into my shell by anything such as this!!
May I take a deep inhale….,
Huhhhhhhh..,
Holding it..,
Holding it..,
And then..,
..,
……,
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
YOUR SPIRIT IS A PART OF ME KOBE!!!
MAY YOUR SPIRIT REMAIN AND STRENGTHEN ME!!!
May the strong opinions of others NOT take away the STRENGTH within me,
MAY I UTILIZE THE DEEPER SPIRIT WITHIN..,
EVERLASTINGLY
Zach Dana Writing 