Controversial Issues

Although I always preferred to feel LESS held back by worrying LESS about what others think,
It has NOT felt to often come easy,

I feel I still must be very careful with what I say and how I say it,

Since I may just receive another reaction that I will NOT react well to,

And well..,
I’d rather (at least try to) NOT increase division,

And well,
If I fail to communicate myself well,
Which just may result in others judging me as some part of “evil” political, spiritual and/or whatever the affiliation,
Causing me to return to my “safe space” in isolation,
With more memories of social connection just “not working out”,
Making it hard for me to once again,
Get out into the world which I feel to remain a socially inseparable part of..,

I guess a large point I’m trying to communicate is..(?),
(Including for myself),
To remember,
To empathetically understand and get to know others deeper than whatever type of category we’re judged as a part of externally..,

Even if we’re a presently registered member of some “evil political party”,
Is there more to know (beneath the surface) about our humanity..?
That getting to know,
Just may (also) help stuff politically..(?),

And just to additionally “throw it out there”..,
Even if as a fear-based disclaimer..(?),
I do NOT view any major (nor I guess(?) whichever) political party as “perfect”..,
And as always,
In whatever ways,
I feel that:
New experiences,
May fill me with new beliefs,
For better or worse,
Of course..,

And well..,
I feel that:
We’re allowed to disagree,
And as for “making peace”,
Maybe many have “tried and tried” already..(?),
I just was NOT there either evidently..,
And who and what still remains hidden from me..(?),
Guess we all have what we believe and see as “reality”..(?),
And well..,
Not to “force my beliefs” either,
Yet even though I strongly believe in freedom of speech,
Given how I intensely react to emotional intensity others may blast at me,
Expressing myself freely,
Feels to remain as a challenge constantly,

Yet even if more people,
As an overall result of me trying to share what I feel to see,
judge me similar to whichever “evildoers” from whichever movie..(?),
At least I feel I will LESS likely regret,
Not trying,
To have others hear what I’m trying to say,
Instead of remaining in my quiet isolated comfort zone..,
While feeling forgotten and alone,

And to NOT forget,
I do feel to be reassured,
(For example),
That if I look deeply,
Or look wherever,
Eventually I may find and/or revisit others who feel me..,
Even if we’ve been told different “facts”,
And/or may “see it differently” politically..(?),

And well..,
For example,
I guess being (NOT sarcastically) yet empathetically told (from others) “I understand”,
Does NOT mean what I’m trying to say is always “right”,
Yet I feel it at least (more likely) helps me feel heard,
It more likely helps me feel at least somewhat relatable..(?),
And well..,
Even if those who understand me in some ways may still have come to strongly disagree with me in other ways(?),
At least feeling less alone,
And more kindly,
Honestly acknowledged,
Just may,
(As long as I (in some way) reciprocate it..),
Mutually help us through,
Another challenging day..(?),

And (even if) sometimes my thinking and posts may spiral inconsiderately..,
Even if (in this case) “too much information” happens to shatter my reputation in an additional online and/or wherever the location..(?),

I just hope to keep trying,
At feeling this moment,
To feel more worth experiencing,
For now and of course in the long run..,
I just..,
Feel I must,
Continue on,
And well,
Even if whoever reads this,
In some way feels a need to tell and/or remind me that they feel I’m “full of shit”,
Or that they feel I,
“Spread nothing but lies”,
At least I tried,

And well,
(For example),
I guess,
I must waste LESS time overthinking by myself in my head,
I must waste LESS time trying to feel “understood” in a YouTube comment thread,
And well..,
Become less provoked by toxic energy,
Which I just may be likely to continue to encounter and become painfully triggered by inevitably..,

I guess(?) the more I inwardly peacefully accept what I can NOT change,
Including emotional intensity that however often or NOT may pass through me..(?),
With proper practice,
Hopefully feeling more fulfilled,
Feels more and more of a longer lasting possibility..(?),

Hopefully I remain on a path,
That’ll actually more likely,
Feel to,
Be of deeper service for someone such as the life form I find myself in presently,

And even if most (if not all) of that felt to make “no sense”,
As always,
Thanks for reading this

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