I presently feel I:

Well for one (I guess(?)) hearing rhymes (at least sometimes) can make it auditorily harder to differentiate between literary meanings of syllables..?
Such as one syllable rhyming words sounding VERY similar riiight?
And I just presently lack the patience to be more literally analytically clear about that..,
And I’ll try to accept I can NOT control how whoever may interpret that to whatever extent..?

I also feel I:

Try to focus,
Then one sentient figure catches my inner senses,
..,
I try to focus,
With peripheral and/or whatever type of senses I still have that have NOT yet degenerated..,

And what did evolve and degenerate within me..?
Do I always proceed upwards linearly..?
I feel I can NOT always be aware of my weaknesses,
And some presently stronger painful vibes in others may unconsciously impulsively overpower me..?

The external forces may analyze it..?
Evaluate,
Or re-organize the syllables of pre-existing words before their present analytical ordered experience(s),

Woahhh!!

When the emotions get PERNICIOUS,
I guess the mind can get DELIRIOUS..?
And my ego may get lost trying to find rhymes and if you feel me (I guess(?)) you’ll see I am presently SERIOUS,
..?
Now my ego might consider those above ordered ending line rhyming syllables “fancy”,
And well as for the REAL present,
I guess my ego just gets lost in words to “describe” it..?

And (I guess(?)) the MORE emotional pain one suppresses and is unaware of..?
Then the MORE the pain TAKES over..?
And if the pain has combined empathetic antagonizing grievances..,
Well..,
Yes I guess(?) there would MORE likely be an explosion of multiplying dangerous emotion leading to a LITERAL explosion..?
?
And more and more,
Yes I’d guess that’ll increase the likelihood of another war..?
..,

And more distant varying indifferent analysis,
..,
Ahhhhhhhh..,

Ahhhhhhh,

Huhhhhh

I feel I’ve often wondered..
Who presently has used the fewest words to LITERALLY capture the most emotion..?

I guess I could say that would be,
As many appear to say,
“Rewarding”,
I even feel that word can be broadened and interpreted depending on the marketing,
advertising,
Or whatever word is most CAPITALIZING..?
Right?

..,

And as for me,
I feel in order to broaden and expand my literal attention span,
Well,
I need sufficient peace and quiet,

And I hope that made sense,
Yet whatever I post on my blog,
Or whichever words come out of my mouth,
Will of course (or I guess(?)),
Be interpreted,
By any others’ present varying broadened or narrowed,
interpretation awareness,

And whichever energy I receive,
I hope the pain of whatever and whenever,

Just..,

Reduces,

Now I’m grateful for this inner peaceful sensation,
And since I can NOT teach it to others,
Instead of bringing me down,
I hope that they (whoever that might be(?)),
Discover more peace inwardly,

And although I might always be able to write more concisely,
Well,
May this be interpreted NOT personally,
Yet of course,

Adequately,
Morally,
Safely and..,

Broadly

I believe in NON-traumatic freedom of emotional expression,
And I fear I’ll be hurt if I express that belief in the wrong way,
at the wrong time,
to the wrong person,
in the wrong social/whatever related context,
..,
And I guess my labels drastically affected my confidence to have a term of endearment I’m allowed to use..?
Well..,
Maybe the “energy” will teach me..?
Is it remaining jealousy..?
..,

If you presently wish to keep reading,
I wish you discover at least something..,
That remembers me as more than a number,
Equation,
And/or MORE than some autistic male who “kills the vibe” in every social interaction..,

No need to panic,
I just take what comes,
And respond,
React,
Make choices,
Decisions,
Envisions,
And I..,
Try,
To however,
(I see fit for myself and whoever surrounds me),
COMPLY,

Not to be too hard on myself,
Yet I’m not sure if I “PERFECTLY” grammatically pieced these following words together,
?
Hence I GUESS(?) I feel that:
..,
And well..,
If you somewhat know your inwardly clear common sense moral RIGHTS maybe(?) you’ll also feel that:

Many other unconscious irrational forces may (feel a “need” to) punish me for even the slightest imperfection severely,
I guess that is..,
Uncertainty?
My remaining “ADHD”..?
Unconscious past experiential discouragement..?
For one I feel I’ll need safe consistent sleep if I’m going to ethically analyze it,
..,

Okay and as for this next stanza,
By “they” I’m referring to ANY individual/group surface level identities..,
So presently I’ll define myself as a peaceful non-violent human with varying extents of varying emotion..,
Yet instead of deeply understanding a complex inner anatomical emotional equation shaped by lived experience,
It’s easiest to say,
In some way that I have a “chemical imbalance”..,
Remain indifferent,
And define it as being “present”,

Of course practically speaking I try remaining peacefully present for myself and others,
Yet I fear that,
Many others’ present (changing) world views will use whatever they find deeply against me,
And when I kill the vibe the forces within others may have medication to suggest for me..?
Chemical terms to describe me,
Without reciprocating empathy because the label(s) they diagnose within me are all they have time for..?

Yeah I still remember that it’s NOT just about me,

(And my ego sometimes says if I repeat the same word too many times my cognitive/whatever type of “big picture” inner awareness may dangerously shrink..?),

..,

Ohh the inner energy forces just might be flying all over the unconsciously dominating expanding brand name hierarchy whichever others work for while feeling free,
..,
While remaining so focused that they forget the (emotional/physiological) pain they’re giving to others since internal unhealed guilt-tripping unconscious emotional past clinging pain is giving their present awareness orders for others..?
..,
Such as forces of envy due to others not hearing their story equally..?
According to those in hierarchical control presently..?
..,
And maybe that’ll be a way the forces will inwardly command subordinates to torture those currently under their control..?

I do NOT mean to “troll” yet I do NOT want horrific history to repeat itself,
And in this context I hope others seriously agree,

..,

And well I still sometimes (if not often) fear and/or imagine that:

As I remain strapped down like a clown,
Mouth sealed shut as inner tension is building,
Too many may just keep diagnosing,
And labeling..,
And lose too much self-medicated emotional balance while partying..?

Ohh,
Ohhhhh,
Huh HoOHHHH,

What’s my condition..?
How would drug induced others (however prescribed or not),
Help me further avoid painful lucrative medication..?

And well,
I guess that’s another worded reason..?
Why,
I believe in NOT sadistically abusing..,
Freedom of expression,

??

And as for the title,
Well,
We may have freedom of what we do and say,
Yet let’s also remember to have MORALS about the effects,
..,
I feel it is just,
COMMON SENSE

(Source: United States “Bill of Rights”, Ratified: December 15th, 1791, 8th Amendment)

If my inner awareness could capture attention most needed for myself and others all the time, then I would do it all the time, yet my awareness, is not all present sentient existence, I only manifest, as a wave, who struggles to socially connect and stay balanced, and who drowns in question, and seeks for ethical gratification, and my ego hopes that caught some well intended attention

Even the scientists feel I don’t have enough “swag”,
..,
I’ll even be told by a stereotypically awkward community that I’m “not cool enough” repeatedly,

And of course how true is it externally?
And how much am I at internal war presently?
And how much am I distracted by assuming what others are assuming about me?

Maybe the scientists can analyze me?
Maybe they can give me medication to never “kill the vibe” again,
..?
Maybe they’ll help with my socially awkward “predisposition” to not make anyone even slightly uncomfortable at whichever social function..?

Yet who is trying to really help me and who wants to feel greater authority?

Will someone take this personally?
Hack into my blog and try to profoundly slander me..?
To whatever micro if not macro degree!?

Ohh I’m just baffled constantly,
And once again I wish my inner chemical emotions become LESS and LESS triggered so nothing too crazy explodes out of safe regulation,
Huhhh..,

I just never totally get the equation

?

May we inwardly spot it,
Before we become it,

May we inwardly spot it,
Before we consume too much of it,

Ohh the jealousy has got me,
Ohh it’s forces want to repeat history,

Ohh,
May I spot it,
So I do NOT feed it,

May I spot it,

May I keep on spotting it,
So I do NOT become,
Part of its sadistic current

Of course I’m in a “atypical” minority because my autist breed weren’t meant to reproduce,

Think Einstein had autism like me?

BULLSHIT,

Think Thomas Jefferson did?

Doubt it,

I live in a digital atypical time period,

And I feel,

Even those “on the spectrum” will NOT get it

Who’s going to be there?
And who will criticize me without a care?

Who’s going to see my humanity?
Who’s going to dismissively mathematically analyze me?

Who’s going to view me as just a number?
Who’s going to see me as MORE?

Who’s going to unconsciously enforce what worked for them?
Who’s going to acknowledge that I respond and operate differently?

Who’s going to see my difference(s) as a deficiency?
Who’s going to see I have something important to offer if my needs are met sufficiently?

Who’s going to empathically acknowledge me?
Without calling me names that make me feel worse about what I already feel bad about?

Who’s going to see how much inner pain remains in me?
Who’s going to say I need to be “harder on myself” than I am already?

Whenever I act crazy,
Who’s going to truly understand me?
And who’s going to call me crazy and make me feel even more painfully crazy?

Who’s going to empathetically,
Kindly acknowledge my feelings to help me feel MORE meaningfully connected,
LESS in my head and LESS crazy!!?

Who is going to powerfully insult me?
Who is just going to fill me with more DAMAGING painful negativity?

Who truly wants to be my friend?
And who wants to sadistically instruct me?

Who wants to look deeply and work to clear their inner pain and insecurity?
And who just wishes to perpetually take it out on me?

Ohh I wish I could see,
Who it is safe to open up to,
More clearly

I open up to people who just call me crazy,
..,
All they have is names to call me,

They said they’d be my “friend”,
And I been nice to them,
Until my painful suppressed emotions as a result of them being mean to me,
Blasted out uncontrollably,

Maybe the medication also imbalanced me?
There may have been infinite factors that could be analyzed infinitely ?

I feel it’s just,
As for who I can emotionally open up to?
Who really is morally trustworthy?

?

Congrats Albert,
..,
I wish I was you,
I wish I could perform when most needed,
The drug free way,

I wish I was you,
And I’m glad you beat Alex Rodriguez,

Now of course I can NEVER completely know what occurs off the field,
Behind the festivities and closed doors,

But your energy,
Has helped me,
More than so,

So many,

Congrats Albert Pujols